ouch

Kicking ass and taking names, or not…

in guard

oops, I’m in guard… not good.

Two months ago I stepped out, wait, leaped out of my comfort zone.  I got talked into joined a basic Jiu Jitsu/self defense class taught by a friend of mine who owns Cross Collar Academy.  When I was younger I loved watching WWF and thought it would be sooooo great to have Hulk Hogan as my dad!  I continued watching people beat each other up on TV as I got older, but am so much more classy as now I watch UFC.  So I thought learning more about this Jiu Jitsu thing might be fun.  Plus, even though I have never been in a fight in my life, I’m sure I am tough and will breeze through this class with all my TV knowledge.  Maybe I will be really good at it and people will be scared of me!  Well….  I learned quite fast that I am indeed not tough, but quite a wimp and also am super out of shape.   Like, run over to the trash can and barf, out of shape.  (P.S., that didn’t happen, I would have ran outside to spare the embarrassment!)  I also learned that I can be talked into pretty much anything.  Like joining the more advanced class and buying a Gi and rolling with really strong sweaty guys that don’t take it easy on measly white belt girls.  What was my thought after my first Gi class you ask?  What the hell did I get myself into!?  Actually, that thought is in my head after pretty much every class.  That and I am too fucking old for this!

Lately, I have had so many other things going on I missed about a week of class.  Tonight was my first night back in a while and pretty much got my ass handed to me.  I had to catch up learning the Omoplata and realized my hips just don’t really bend that way!  For the defense portion we learned how to roll out of that horrible shoulder lock.  I like this move as you get to do a summersault type roll and it looks like you know what your doing.  If you haven’t figured out, I just like to look like I know what I’m doing…  I also have the mouth of a trucker.  I just can’t help it.  The profanities spew out of my mouth before I even realize it.  Between all my cussing and my grunting, I sound like a white trash version of the William’s sisters!  Well, I may have mouthed off to my instructor, which is also my friend, but I tend to forget that he is actually my superior on the mats, and he made me pay during sparing.  I don’t think I have been that tangled up and bent in positions like that since I was in uterus!  Lesson learned.  Well probably not, since I have a short term memory…

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